IBFAIBPMSH Chapter 16

Since learning the insights of “caring for the master” from the starling, Bai Gaoxing pays more attention to Li Pu. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that he didn’t pay attention to him before. He still cares about Li Pu—especially when there is no food in the food box.

For example, now, Li Pu is in a depressed state again, lost in his own world on a beautiful sunny day. As Bai Gaoxing looks at the empty lunchbox, he skillfully jumps out of the cage, leisurely moves in front of the man, and elegantly says, “Xiao’er, add more rice.” 

This is all Bai Gaoxing’s imagination.

He believes he can’t explain how he learns to call him “Xiao Er,” so he can only jump onto the sofa, tug at the man's pants with his paws while tilting his head cutely, saying, “Food, so hungry!”

Unexpectedly, the man who always gets up quickly to refill his food in the past seems to be completely immersed in his own world today, with a blank look in his eyes, staring blankly without moving.

Just as Bai Gaoxing is about to shake him again, a “ding” sound comes from the kitchen. 

The coffee is ready.

Bai Gaoxing glances at Li Pu, then turns and flies into the kitchen—his flying skills have improved quite a bit; at least he doesn’t crash into walls or glass anymore. For example, the situation of falling into the aquarium at the beginning will never happen again! 

He turns on the switch, fills a full cup of coffee for Li Pu, then switches to the keep-warm mode, and finally flies out of the kitchen.

The coffee he just fills is very hot. Bai Gaoxing estimates the time, flies to a corner of the kitchen, and starts the little whale.

"Little whale."

"Hello~ What service do you need~"

"Just say something."

"Hello~ What service do you need~"

"So boring——"

"Hello~ What service do you need~"

"..."

Bai Gaoxing tilted his head, "Sweeping mode." 

"Okay, it has switched to sweeping mode."

Bai Gaoxing feels that this machine should be upgraded. 

He stands on the sweeping robot and wanders around aimlessly with it. After roaming the living room, he knocks open Li Pu's bedroom door. The bedroom faces the sun, so brightly that it’s almost blinding.

Bai Gaoxing squats into a fluffy ball and continues to move forward with the sweeping robot. He really doesn’t expect that he has been at Li Pu’s house for nearly two weeks, yet he has only unlocked three areas on his map: the living room, the kitchen, and the bedroom.

The other doors in the large flat are usually locked. He wonders what secrets they might hold. 

But it makes sense; since Li Pu lives alone, it’s normal for these extra rooms to not be used, so it is normal to lock them. 

Sleeping with a movie star is definitely a benefit that fans can only dream of—this is probably what normal people think—but Bai Gaoxing just wants to play with the movie emperor’s mobiLi Pune. 

Black, rectangular, hard, shiny—something that can be held in the palm of your hand.

Bai Gaoxing thinks this while feeling a mix of frustration and tears, and at the same time, the robot vacuum cleaner carries him out of the bedroom and bumps into Li Pu's feet. 

Li Pu is finally jolted back to reality by the collision and looks down at the ground.

The large, snow-white parrot droops its wings, the tips looking a bit dirty. It seems to notice his gaze and suddenly raises its round little head. Its black eyes sparkle like gems, and the feather crest on its head shakes.

It is a bit hard to refuse... Is this what it feels like to have a pet? 

Li Pu presses his eyebrows together, shaking off his chaotic thoughts, and then stands up—yes, coffee.

He thinks this but doesn’t head to the kitchen. Instead, he leans down to pick up the parrot from the robot vacuum cleaner and walks in another direction.

The parrot in his arms seems surprised by this action, its already round eyes widening even more as it takes in his figure. 

Li Pu ponders that maybe this is why he has been sleeping better lately. After all, Dabai is so cute. When illuminated by the moonlight, its body seems to emit a faint glow, and just looking at it for a while calms his mood.

Speaking of which, the "breeding manual" mentions that parrots like to take baths...?

Li Pu has read the manual thoroughly and vaguely remembers that parrots enjoy water and will take the initiative to bathe in pools during hot summer days.

So, “Did you want to take a bath when you first came?” he asks, carrying Bai Gaoxing to the aquarium and gesturing toward the bubbling water.

Bai Gaoxing stares at the fish inside. 

The group of fish thinks Li Pu is coming to feed them and swims over with their mouths wide open, as if they want to swallow Bai Gaoxing through the glass.

“No bath!” Bai Gaoxing shrinks into Li Pu's arms in fear. It is terrifying—does this person really want to throw him in!? 

Li Pu feels the struggle in his arms. His warm fingertips brush the soft feathers on Bai Gaoxing's head twice as he says, “It's time to wash.”

Then, Bai Gaoxing watches helplessly as Li Pu pushes open a door he has never entered before, revealing a sink, a partition door, a toilet, and a shower.

It's a bathroom... but why bring him here!?

Bai Gaoxing suspects that Li Pu has already discovered his true identity and immediately plans to demand he perform a squat on the toilet on the spot.

Just as he nervously contemplates this, he is already placed on the sink by Li Pu. The cold porcelain surface sends a chill through Bai Gaoxing’s little bird heart.

Li Pu goes into the partition door to look for something, and Bai Gaoxing finally takes a moment to observe his surroundings. First, there is a mirror. This is his first time looking in a mirror at home, and it is clearer than when he has used a mobiLi Pune camera. The high-definition mirror with soft light reflects every inch of his body. His snow-white feathers glimmer brightly, easily revealing the gray tips.

Ah... So this is why he needs a bath. 

Bai Gaoxing has to admit that upon seeing the faucet, his parrot instincts begin to stir. He can't help but step forward, raises his claws to pry open the faucet, tests the temperature with the tip of his wings, and then begins to adjust it. 

Being small has its advantages.

Bai Gaoxing half-squats in the water and sighs. He deliberately turns down the faucet a little, letting a thin stream of water pour down his back. He can flap around to get his feathers wet and wash off the dust on top...

So when Li Pu finally finds a basin from the corner and comes out, he sees that his extremely smart parrot has turned on the faucet at some point and is trying to step on the pump head of the hand sanitizer.

Isn’t that a bit too smart...? The thought peaks in Li Pu’s mind as he watches Dabai stand up and turn off the faucet. 

He has heard of pets turning on faucets while entertaining themselves, so he has always been on guard against Dabai doing this. But he doesn’t expect that Dabai will not only “turn it on” but also “turn it off.”

…

The weather has been warm lately, so all he needs is a towel or a sunbath.

Li Pu symbolically wipes the parrot's feathers, then moves the steel stand from the bedroom to the more spacious living room balcony. The white parrot, covered in water droplets, shakes itself as if it has been electrocuted, sending all the droplets flying. 

The suffering is left to the glass.

Li Pu looks at the parrot for a long moment, then goes to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. 

He hasn’t closed the bathroom door tightly.

Later that night, Bai Gaoxing notices this.

Could it be that he is tacitly allowed to use the bathroom? Bai Gaoxing guesses, but when he flies to the toilet, he finds the lid is still firmly closed.

“Don’t fall in.” Just as Li Pu comes in to relieve himself, he lifts the toilet lid and reminds Bai Gaoxing, who is standing on the water tank.

Then he starts to unzip his pants.

Wait, what is he doing?

Bai Gaoxing eyes widens and quickly flies away just before the zipper is pulled all the way down, knocking over the toothbrush cup on the shelf as he turns the corner.

Li Pu: “?”

...

Finally, another boring day comes to an end. 

Before dinner, Li Pu finally remembers to check the food box in the cage, filling it to the brim. Bai Gaoxing doesn’t miss the guilt in the man’s eyes, and in a frenzy, he snatches several bites of food from the dining table without being stopped.

This is his victory!

The braised eggplant tastes delicious, and the fish soup is rich and mellow. Bai Gaoxing smacks his lips, savoring today’s dinner. He quickly flies behind Li Pu when he sees him sitting on the sofa again.

If it were before, he wouldn’t have been willing to sit in silence with the other man, but this time, Li Pu picks up his phone!

Remember the plan to get the password?

Bai Gaoxing stands behind Li Pu nervously, watching his fingertips hover over the fingerprint area.

He has secretly pressed the phone before, so he knows he must enter the password next time! 

He can’t wait!

Bai Gaoxing stares at him, but Li Pu does not take the next step. Instead, he turns his head slightly and says, "Dabai?"

The man has long noticed that the parrot seems a bit off tonight. For example, it used to make a fuss about wanting to turn on the TV, or it would ride the vacuum cleaner back and forth in the house, or at the very least, it would squat in front of the fish tank, staring at the fish for an entire night. 

But now, it is quietly squatting behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Li Pu patiently sets his phone down and turns around to ask.

Why did you put it down? Bai Gaoxing is a little confused.

Li Pu recalls what the old man said yesterday: "Spend more time with the little guy you raise. You have many people to accompany you in whatever you do, but it only has you."

He does feel... that Dabai seems a little lonely.

Although he has only raised it for less than half a month, he hasn’t given it enough attention.

There are two types of parrots: social and solitary. As a social parrot, Dabai must prefer being in a group and having companionship. 

But he doesn't have the time to raise a second one.

Moreover, Peter Wang has reminded him—“One parrot is enough; that way, it will be closer to you. Of course, if you want it to chat with its companions day and night, or get complaints from neighbors, then go ahead, I won’t stop you.”

So... should he think of other ways?

Seeing that Li Pu has fallen into deep thought again, Bai Gaoxing can't tell whether he is unwell or just lost in thought, so he continues to tell him jokes tentatively. 

He had told a joke when he came back yesterday, and the response had been pretty good!

Bai Gaoxing ponders for a moment and begins with the first line: “It’s so cold~”

At that moment, Li Pu moves, pressing his phone and bringing up the password input prompt. 

Bai Gaoxing changes his voice: “Then hurry up and squat in the corner!” 

He sees Li Pu enter the first number: 0.

Bai Gaoxing secretly notes it down and returns to his original voice: "Why go to the corner?"

Then comes 2 and 1. Finally, he concludes: "Because the corner is 90 degrees!"

Li Pu's fingertips pause for a moment, finally stopping at "1." 

The phone unlocks.

0211, 0211... Bai Gaoxing repeats it in his mind several times, feeling that this password is oddly familiar. 

He has used it before because this is...

In the next moment, Li Pu looks up, seeming to ask and yet also talking to himself: "Dabai, why don't you find a more suitable owner for you?"

What——?

The snow-white parrot looks dazed. 

Bai Gaoxing doesn’t know what crime he has committed. Could it be that he is going to be sent away just for telling a joke?

Is it okay not to tell them?

QAQ

Author's note:

Dabai: Only knows how to tell cold jokes QAQ

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